It was the end of fall in Australia, 1994, when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 43. My children were only 6 and 8 years old at the time.
It wasn’t long before I was fully immersed in its unremitting fury that left every part of my body and flesh screaming out in torment. Indefinable pain and suffering was now my constant companion. I was in such deep despair over the agony I was suffering from this insidious disease, it was all I could do to stay alive for my children. Finally, I became bedridden.
My children dressed me, fed me, and positioned me in the right place to pull me out of bed so as not to hurt me in any way. They took me to the toilet and placed me on the bowl, and waited while I sat, pondering on my life and the misery set before me. The hardest thing for me was simply being alive. The thought of ending it all to relieve my anguish would have been a welcome relief. Growing up in orphanages and children’s homes, I was beyond the point of, ‘who would love my children if I died?’
It was beyond me now to hold onto my children’s hands as I took them to bed, to feel their flesh against mine. Now they took me to bed, and were no longer allowed to touch my flesh, as it left me wailing in pain. I could see in their eyes that they needed me.
Night time was the loneliest time as I lay in the darkness of my room, alone with my thoughts, knowing I could not call out to my young ones, as God knows they needed their rest. I averaged 2 hours sleep per night because of the pain. My tears were constant and flowed most of the time. Sometimes in the darkness, I asked, “Oh Lord, have mercy on me” and in those tears I cried out, “Where is my miracle?” I thought that I would never recover from the way the disease had altered me, or shake off the despondency into which my personality had sunk.
As the light of day dawned through the Venetian blinds, I pondered on how I could recover from this tormenting, crippling disease. I did not want my children to have any part in the burden of my sorrow any longer. I had to recover for them!
I started reading books on diet and disease and finally came up with my own regime that worked for me. I had no idea what I was doing at the time, but knew in the deepest recess of my heart I would be free from rheumatoid arthritis.
After changing my diet to a high raw food diet, I became well, pain free, and disease free. I was once again able to physically love my children and take care of them. We laughed, we danced, we had fun, and I was caught up in the spirit of my children. They told me, “Mama we love you.” It was beautiful. I have since become a 100% raw vegan. Now the raw food vegan lifestyle is the secret of health, longevity and quality of life. – Sonia